Matchup! Write a story featuring a Ouiji Board, a search engine, and a self-help book.
A man came crashing through the lobby area of our office, Ouiji board clutched between his hands.
“This has to be divine intervention! This is it! I know it is it!” he cried out.
“Can I help you with something?” asked a fellow front desk rep.
“My entire life was spent in misery. And then — and then! — I had a moment of clarity,” the man hollered. “And I have devoted every waking moment for the last two years writing the perfect self help book. Others need to know what I have learned!”
“Sir, this is a realtor’s office…” I began.
“Exactly!” he replied, eyes wide. “This is exactly where I need to be! The Google search bar told me so! And I’m going to use his Ouiji board to learn the name of my future agent! This is where I need to be! This is divine intervention!”
“I completely understand sir,” my co-worker said slowly, surreptitiously pressing the red button underneath the desk.
“And I will need you two to help me — to help me figure out the next step in this incredible path!” he declared, slamming the Ouiji board box down on the raised edge of the counter. Just then, two security guards came marching through the side door.
“Sir, I need you to come with me,” said one of them.
“But, but you don’t understand — this is divine intervention!”
“Well this is security intervention,” the other replied. With a security guard hooking a hand under each armpit, the man was lifted up and out of the building.
“Wow,” said my co-worker.
“Yeah, wow.”
“What was that about?”
“I don’t even know.”
“Well, at least this would make for a good story,” my co-worker offered.
I looked out past the glass doors, watching as the guard plopped the crazy man onto the parking lot pavement.
“No, no it really wouldn’t,” I replied.
That (Not This) Abby Rose 