I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Men: Written About in a Blog Post

I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated.

I like my coffee like I like my men: French.  Or Cuban.  Or Colombian.  Or Hazelnut… wait…

I like my coffee like I like my men: in a way Europeans would frown upon.

I like my coffee like I like my men: READILY AVAILABLE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING OR ELSE I’M GRUMPY.

I like my coffee like I like my men: in a cup with a straw!  Wait…

I like my coffee like I like my men: from Dunkin Donuts.

I like my coffee like I like my men: available for pick-up at a drive-thru.

I like my coffee like I like my men: certainly not strong, rich, dark, or creamy because seriously everyone makes those jokes and they are so overdone I mean oh my God and what the hell would creamy even entail I don’t wanna know but now I feel like I should go to church.

I like my coffee like I like my men: hot.

I like my coffee like I like my men: iced.
(Oooh I’m kidding.  I prefer half ice.  You get more coffee that way.)
(…you get more man that way?)

I like my coffee like I like my men: next to me in my car.  Preferably in the cup holder.
(What?)

I like my coffee like I like my men: in a way that might hint at addiction.

I like my coffee like I like my men: in a way that gives me a headache.

I like my coffee like I like my men: available at your local convenience store.

I like my coffee like I like my men: purchasable by the pound.

I like my coffee like I like my men: created in a percolator. Wait…

I like my coffee like I like my men: extra crispy and on practically everything.  No, wait: that’s how I like my bacon.