D’s Nuts

The story of D’s Nuts first starts with the cupholder in my car.  This cupholder holds my nuts.

*dramatic pause*

But seriously: my cupholder holds my nuts.  Peanuts.  I keep a bag of peanuts propped up in one of my cupholders for some intelligent snacking.  It’s there so I have something to tide me over, especially when I’m zipping around for the majority of the day, so I don’t come home and essentially pull a Chris Farley the second I walk in the door:

Now we can start to paint the picture that brings us to D’s Nuts: I’m driving back from one of my classes, snacking away on my cupholder’s nuts, my mind doing its usual ADHD bounce-around.  Eventually my mind lands on, well, my nuts, and the types of jokes you could make with them about deez nuts, which lead me to think:

I sure hope there’s a lady named Denise out there who owns a peanut farm.  And I really hope she markets her goods as “D’s Nuts”.

Of course, I had to research to see if this actually existed.  Outside of a few novelty items called “D’s Nuts”, this is sadly not the case.

But, seriously, could you imagine a company who genuinely tried to sell their food as “D’s Nuts”?  Imagine the marketing you could do!  The possibilities are endless.

You want some of D’s Nuts? Come on down and try D’s Nuts.

Say goodbye to everyday snacking and say hello to D’s Nuts.

D’s Nuts are so good, you won’t want anything else in your mouth!

You can take D’s Nuts anywhere!

Don’t know what to bring to a party?  Bring D’s Nuts!

Don’t know what to have?  You can have D’s Nuts!

Don’t know what to eat?  You can eat D’s Nuts!

Making a grab bag?  Grab D’s Nuts!

Looking for a snacktime remedy?  Re-me-D’s Nuts!

Here’s something that’ll always bring a smile to your face: D’s Nuts!

When a friend tells you they don’t know what to buy, tell them they can buy D’s Nuts.

Did your friend say she usually doesn’t like peanuts?  She’ll like D’s Nuts, I’ll tell you what!

When you’re at the store, make sure to ask the grocer if they can direct to D’s Nuts.

Come on down to the farm so you can see firsthand D’s Nuts!

…

My brain has got to be one of the most exhausting places anyone could ever be, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t provide entertainment from time to time.