Let me tell you a tale about my monkey. Well, technically it first starts off as a tale about a teddy bear keychain. (Bear with me. Ba dum ching.) Sometime in 2008, when visiting Florida for the very first time, I got this little teddy bear keychain. He was metallic, with movable limbs and a little… Continue reading Let Me Tell You About My Monkey
Category: Internal Snark
No one reads poetry! And also no one reads blogs!
And also only granola people take yoga. Clearly I'm on a mission to prove ALL those wrong (I'm pretty sure the mini-box of Slim Jims I ate last week renders me ineligible for the granola club). So I teach yoga (and eat Slim Jims), I'm writing in a blog, but how am I going to… Continue reading No one reads poetry! And also no one reads blogs!
It's getting so beautiful out, I said. There's too much technology and multitasking in your life, I said. Slow it down, I said. There's a nearly-never-used swingset in your backyard, I said. Life's too short not to enjoy the simple pleasures, I said. You'll enjoy your coffee more, I said. How peaceful it would be,… Continue reading Bad Decision
I be Buzzfeeding!
Blog, you know I love you, but I have something to admit: you're not the only one. I know, I know. It's probably hard to accept, but the signs were all there. If I were truly exclusive to you, I would've been spending way more time with you. Instead, I've been sporadic at best. I… Continue reading I be Buzzfeeding!
1. Why does the one meat item that would always stand between me and vegetarianism come from one of the smartest, sweetest creatures on the planet? I need to eat bacon that came purely from asshole pigs, if only to assuage my guilt. 2. "In a world of Kim Kardashians, be a Princess Diana." Where's the… Continue reading Insomnia Thoughts
Don’t You Know How Old I Think I Am?
I don't look my age. It can create a few interesting situations -- from potential employers assuming I'm straight outta high school to Home Depot people thinking I'm shopping with my dad instead of, gee, my husband -- but I'm thankful for it. Not only do we live in a society that puts a heavy emphasis… Continue reading Don’t You Know How Old I Think I Am?
Usually, my fantastical yoga scenarios are purely a defense mechanism. I'd embarrassed myself and I would use humor as a way to process the mortifying experience. But sometimes they come from incredibly random places -- and the same part of my mind that will take an embarrassing moment and run with it will take that random… Continue reading BatYoga
The Things I Think About After Seemingly Harmless Interactions
Funny, the little things you remember. I remember how adults, absolute strangers, used to smile at me when I was a kid. This was long before I realized that lots of adults do that with practically every little kid they see. I would take these interactions -- whether it was a direct, emphatic smile &… Continue reading The Things I Think About After Seemingly Harmless Interactions
The story of D's Nuts first starts with the cupholder in my car. This cupholder holds my nuts. *dramatic pause* But seriously: my cupholder holds my nuts. Peanuts. I keep a bag of peanuts propped up in one of my cupholders for some intelligent snacking. It's there so I have something to tide me over, especially… Continue reading D’s Nuts
Wicked Good Yoga
You know what can be incredibly relaxing? Savasana, aka that resting pose at the end of a yoga practice. You know what is never -- EVER -- relaxing? The Boston accent. Most of my family grew up in blue collar Medford, which produces one of the thickest accents you will ever hear. I grew up… Continue reading Wicked Good Yoga